I have so many words rattling around in my head that I can’t sleep. I guess that means I’m a bit of a writer now because as soon as I get this down I’m sure I’ll feel better. I have so much joy in my life – the kids are throwing up Halloween decorations willy nilly – with frantic interruptions from the nanny and I to be careful with that! Or don’t use the glow necklace NOW! We are deciding on costumes – Henry will be Darth Vader (again), Emmy wants to be a pirate princess (again) and Carter is deciding between Jengo Fett and an elephant. Don’t ask me.
But, it has been an immensely tiring week. The radiation is tiring not so much because of the light rays, but because it is a procedure – daily – that is uncomfortable. I have to have both hands over my head throughout. My left arm in particular doesn’t like that very much and it’s tight and sore and yet I have to hold it for 20 minutes. Machines whirr and click around me – x rays, the radiation machine. The techs talk to me, but all I can do is grunt a reply because I am concentrating on not moving, not curling my arm into a ball and assuming the fetal position. I am naked on my top half – exposed – as usual. I know that with each day I grow closer to the end. After today I am down to 31 more.
Every working day at 10am I drive to my appointment for the next six weeks. Before that, I will have strapped on my new beautiful comfortable and realistic “forms” from Nordstrom.
In what had to be an incredibly awkward adn hilarious moment, Davis walked in on me having the nanny feel my new ladies. He declined the offer to be next (“maybe later” he said). I brushed beside him in our bathroom on purpose and then he had his turn. How does it feel to me? Weird, funny, but ultimately, I can’t feel.
Because I was so tired today I wore my power outfit. As if I would go do something important and athletic. My Gap Body yoga pants, my Gap body short sleeved sweatshirt in pink, and my new shirt from my friend Dara: “This survivor kicked cancer’s butt”
Somehow that helped me get the twins to school, make my requisite Target run, get radiation, then plan for the creation of four pumpkins for Fall Fest
Making this in black:
Kids in Carter’s class making these owls: with Halloween flavor.
And making this pumpkin with glow in the dark paint. Haven’t decided orange or black.
Maybe after all of the other work I did today, it should be pink.