Yesterday I waited with baited breath for 5pm to arrive. It had nothing to do with me, with cancer, with chemo or medicine. It was the time when the class lists would be posted for Henry’s first grade. We rapidly scanned all the names and found two buddies (which is really what Henry cares about). Our teacher is new which should be good fun. I was more excited and amazed and hysterical about this placement than I was about my surgery. I guess that means that the Mom in me is coming back.
My body is also coming back – in both good and bad ways. I have been surprised by my recovery – I take advil a few times a day, and I’m sore really only under my left armpit – where they took the nodes. I haven’t been able to shower because my doctor doesn’t want water to get in … but I am waiting for that with full anticipation. My plan still stands – radiation to start in a few weeks, for about six weeks, and then reconstruction in 2013.
But in general, I fully anticipate a return to life sooner than I would have expected. It may be at a slower pace, but I am looking forward to becoming an owner of my own body. I feel that this has been a gift to me – If I hadn’t gone in for that just in case mammogram, who knows?
And, in a bit of looking forward, I am starting to accumulate a wish list for fall items – my size may not be right, but surely I deserve a little pampering. Dressing right now is a bit of a drag – I am wearing a camisole from Nordtrom’s that provides a little support. But, my doctor didn’t want my drains in it since it is compressing me a bit (the drains act on suction) … so I wear that cami, then a pair of jammies or a tank top long enough to hide my drains and put pockets in the shirts (they are called pink pockets. It limits my options, and I also want to make sure that the children don’t see it – they would be mortified. There is a limit to complete transparency.
If you see me out and about tomorrow (meet the teacher for all three children at different times) you can note my casual chic pixie cut (that really is just my hair growing back!) and hopefully not my drains. Feel free to tell me if they are showing – I’d hate to go around unzipped all day. XYDPDQ.