I remember the joy of getting my first Hello Kitty LOCKED journal. It was hello kitty wrapped around hopes and dreams and decades later my four year old fills up her notepads with purposeful scribbles … Writing recipes, lists, dreams, who knows.
I used to journal a lot and it was therapeutic, but then the world got in the way. Instead I kept it all in, pretended all was fine … and of course, I am still very blessed – awesome husband, brillant and hysterical kids, big house, wonderful friends and support. But I didn’t need help – I am organized strong woman blah blah blah.
And then came 2012 – supposed to be MY year (I am a dragon and it’s the dragon year). I should have known when the rats infiltrated the garage it was not going as planned. Then, we decide to accept a move to Dubai – which with three children under 6 is no small feat. Fitting in all my doctor’s appointments, I find out first I need a root canal, then a mammogram. Both not so fun but not so bad.
This week, I find out that that the “why not” mammogram was a precursor to an OH CRAP moment – I have breast cancer. The BIG C.
At our house, big C is a stuffed purple elephant that my boy twin hugs whenever he needs a little love. It is HUGE and WARM and FUZZY and hilariously large for a boy who dreams of firetrucks and UNO. But, this time it is a little different. This time, the word is not fuzzy or cute or anything like that.
I am starting this blog to chronicle the crazy journal of the coming weeks – a Mom trying to hold her wits together while managing a move halfway across the world, battling breast cancer, and tending to three incredibly awesome kids. Hopefully it will provide friends, family and strangers with hope and humor and updates. This is my journal unlocked for you to see.