I had a friend tell me during chemo that the zen-like attitude I had during treatment – I thought primarily induced through fatigue, sleep-laced anti nausea medicine and a general sense of heaviness – would stay with me. I didn’t believe her. BUT it’s true. I have mentioned it before, things don’t bother me as much. But I still complain – I just catch myself earlier. And I notice it in others.
Take this weekend. We had a fantastic weekend – jam packed with Texas traditions and silliness. On Friday night we attended a Chicken SH*&! Bingo party where you pay $1 to predict where the chicken will SH#@! We dressed as Texas trash. The hilarity was in me trying to not sound racially/economically/politically insensitive when trying to determine how to dress up. I ended up as Daisy Duke and Davis wore an A&M shirt with camo sweats. We had beers – I totally embarrassed myself by not knowing how to operate one – and banana pudding and NO we didn’t win but we ate lots of wings in retaliation.
I could have gotten uber upset when my amazing husband decided at 4.30 to go shopping for the next days campout. And took over an hour. Or when Emmy decided that she “couldn’t breathe” and it turned out she was making herself so upset she couldn’t catch her breath. And there was the rising tide of frustration. But, it went away. I realized my hubby is remarkable for pitching in on the cooking on the campout and Emmy inherited a super strong sense of empathy.
The next morning, we had soccer. At 8am. After beers and parties and Davis staying up late to make homemade sloppy joes. At what seemed an ungodly hour, I awoke and peered over to realize that it was already 7am. I was supposed to be at the soccer field at 7.30 to line them.
I could have gotten upset because HOW the BLEEP would we get out of the house in 15 minutes?? Even though Carter slept in his soccer uniform?? But I threw food at the kids, pushed them into their soccer clothes and texted the other coach. I got there and guess what – the field was already lined. With my mocha in hand, I coached my team to a hard fought awesomely close game with Davis in charge of the 5 minute subouts.
Wew came home to pack the swagger wagon to the gills for Davis and Henry’s first campout. The rest of us were going to spend the day at Cub O Ree swimming, playing, doing activities, etc. Of course we get there, no signage, wander around for what seems like 2 miles until we find the campsite. Carter immediately steps in a fire ant mound (I would later count 16 bites) and Davis had to set up the tent because there was imminent rain.
SO I took the three kids to the activities – which turned out to be a handful of amazing things – rock climbing! archery! BB guns! that had lines over an hour – and a handful of carnival type games that took 5 minutes. We traipsed all over, having forgotten water bottles – but the kids did great. I heard parent after parent snapping at their kids – go faster! stop complaining! Instead we laughed when it rained so hard it washed our sweat off and stole plastic cups from the archery range.
Oh, and then I go tthe car stuck in the mud. Hilarously, it was probably the best place on the planet to get stuck. All these adult boy scouts running around fighting over who was going to tow me out and teaching each other how to tie a bowlon tie with a fie hose – who has a pocket knife? You don’t? Then of course we had to take the car through the car wash while it was raining to get all the mud off. Did I mention it was Davis’ car?
I realize I’m not perfect, I’m going to lose my cool – and I do. But I realize it so much earlier, especially with the kids. And the fact that in comparison, the fact that I was able to hike 2 miles in 95 degree weather is astounding. The fact that I had enough hair to get wet and sweaty is awesome. There really is nothing to complain about.
I am raising money this month for the Breast Cancer Resource Center of Austin – home of my beloved Pink Ribbon Cowgirl friends and treatment buddies, as well as my amazing patient navigator Runi and the other amazing resources – wigs! tote bags! free yoga!
This month, you will have a lot of chances to give pink – but think about where you are giving your money. If you support BCRC 100% of the money goes to service their over 2600 clients in Central Texas. I am a client. And, in return, we have a few personal goals – I will dye my hair pink if I reach my first goal … Davis will wear a pink art bra if I reach my second goal … and he and I will walk the runway in matching bras Oct 29th if I reach my new goal. I am expecting big things. I get prizes for most supporters, most money raised, most unique donors, etc. Bring it on!